


What Dreams Are Made Of

by AgtSpooky



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Episode Related, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26477794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgtSpooky/pseuds/AgtSpooky
Summary: What would you do if you could read your best friend’s mind? What would you do if you saw their innermost thoughts and desires about…you? When an alien creature telepathically links Jonathan Archer and Trip Tucker, long-buried secrets are revealed. Ones that could either destroy their friendship or bring them closer than they ever thought possible.[Episode related: 1x22: Vox Sola, 1x24: Desert Crossing, 1x25: Two Days and Two Nights]
Relationships: Jonathan Archer/Charles "Trip" Tucker III
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	1. Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> I think I’ve found my Archer/Trip groove again! Very glad they spoke to me again so soon. Many thanks to everyone who left me feedback on “First Flight…First Night”, my first A/T story in 7 years. You inspired me to pick up my pen again! And once again, huge thanks and hugs to SarahMatthews here on AO3 for her cheerleading and pokes and friendship. Without her I wouldn’t be writing Jon and Trip again!

_This isn’t what I signed up for._

The errant thought flitted through Captain Jonathan Archer’s mind as he hung suspended in some sort of web in cargo bay 2, captive of an alien creature that had invaded Enterprise. He wasn’t the only captive, however. Also ensnared in the white tentacles were three crewmen…and his Chief Engineer and best friend, Trip Tucker.

Jon had long since lost track of time. All he knew was that the creature was growing stronger by the minute as he and Trip and the others grew weaker. The crewmen were already unconscious and it wouldn’t be long before the darkness claimed him and Trip as well.

He was too weak to speak, so he stretched his mind out along the telepathic link that the creature had somehow enabled between them. He immediately sensed how scared Trip was, but fighting to keep that fear inside even as his body began to shut down, as his heartbeat slowed.

Jon was cold. So cold. His vision graying out at the edges. Each breath harder than the last. He knew then that T’Pol, Hoshi and Malcolm would not be able to save them. Not wanting to die alone, not wanting Trip to die alone, Jon locked onto the engineer’s thoughts in an effort to be close to his friend at the end, feeling Trip touch his mind, too, as the darkness finally claimed him…

…Jon opened his eyes to find himself staring at the night sky, looking up at thousands of stars shining brightly overhead. He immediately knew where he was—on the top of a mesa in Nevada.

He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, his feet bare, sitting on a sleeping bag in front of a cheerfully burning campfire, a cold bottle of beer in one hand. He turned his head and there was Trip, sitting next to him, a broad smile on his friend’s face.

But at the same time Jon felt himself sitting there, he also felt himself standing off at a distance, observing. As if he were both part of the scene and watching the events unfold, simultaneously.

He blinked and the disconcerting feeling vanished, leaving him back next to Trip, relaxed and happy. They’d spent the last four days hiking, rock climbing, white water rafting and camping. It was the last day of their vacation. Hopefully the last one in a long time.

Jon finished his beer as Trip finished his and the two of them stretched out side by side on their sleeping bags, their shoulders just touching. It was the perfect way to end the day. He stared up at the sky, imagining what was beyond the Milky Way. It wouldn’t be long now—two weeks, maybe three—before Enterprise was completed and they would hopefully be leaving space dock to start their first deep-space mission. Trip was practically vibrating with excitement beside him.

“Your father would be so damn proud of you, Jon,” Trip said in his warm southern accent. “His son, his engine—makin’ his dream come true.”

Jon turned his head to look at his friend, his Chief Engineer. “Couldn’t have done it without you, Trip. That engine works because of your passion, your skill and your refusal to let the Vulcans stand in the way.” He smiled. “And now there’s an entire universe waiting to be explored.”

Trip returned his smile. “I used to go camping with my friends all the time when I was a kid. We used to look up at the stars and wonder what Earth would look like from up there. Can’t believe I’m finally gonna find out.” He sighed happily. “This…it’s gonna be amazin’, Jon, I know it.”

But then the joy slid from his expressive blue eyes and Jon frowned. “What is it?”

Trip gave a half shrug. “Just wondering about this…us.”

Jon’s brow furrowed and he turned on his side to face Trip. “We talked about this,” he said softly. “We said we could make this work. Are you…having second thoughts?” he asked tentatively.

“No!” Trip rolled to face him. “No. God, no. It’s just…we’ve worked together a long time. _Been_ together a long time. But you’ve never been my commanding officer before. It’s gonna be hard to go from Trip and Jon to Captain and Commander. And separate quarters?” He made a face.

Jon chuckled. “Hopefully that won’t be for long. I’m not going to make a ship-wide broadcast about our relationship, but I’m not going to hide it, either. We’ll let people find out naturally.” The corners of his mouth quirked. “And if you’re a good little engineer, I’ll even let you sleep over sometimes.”

Trip arched an eyebrow. “ _Sometimes_?”

Jon fought to keep the smile at bay. “A case could be made for more often.”

In the blink of an eye, Trip had him on his back, straddling his thighs. He leaned down, pressing their bodies together. “Well then, let me plead my case…”

Their lips met and Jon surrendered willingly to Trip’s sensual assault. Their mouths met again and again, tongues tangling, hands roaming, clothes falling away until they were naked in the moonlight. Jon spread his legs for Trip and the younger man slowly, slowly eased his thick length into Jon. Soft moans mingled in the night as they joined together, their bodies infinitely familiar with this dance. No matter how many times they made love, it always felt fresh and new to Jon. Tonight was no exception, his body stretching around Trip, drawing him in, keeping him close as he moved so deep inside Jon. And Jon gave himself over to Trip, drifting in a haze of pleasure and arousal until it became too much for both of them.

“Now, Jon…now…” Trip breathed, an instant before he gasped, his body shaking.

Jon felt the heat of Trip’s release fill him as he let his own wash over him, sending him flying up to the stars…

…Jon woke, utterly content and happy, reaching for Trip as he blinked open his eyes. The dream dissipated in the harsh light, leaving behind a feeling of confusion and wrongness. He shook his head, pushing through the fog, realizing he was no longer in Nevada, but sickbay aboard Enterprise. The creature in the cargo bay… It all came rushing back and his heart lurched.

“Trip!” he called out, trying to sit up.

Then Phlox was there, a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back down.

“Commander Tucker is fine, Captain,” the doctor reassured him, stepping to the side to show Jon the engineer lying in the biobed next to him, a blanket pulled up to his waist, his eyes closed.

Jon turned his head the opposite way. The other beds were empty. His stomach churned at the implication. Phlox must have known where his thoughts were headed.

“They were all released a short time ago,” he said and Jon released a relieved breath at the unexpected good news. “They suffered no lasting damage from the creature, which you’ll be glad to know we just finished returning to its home planet after Ensign Sato was able to communicate with it.”

As Phlox ran his scanner over him, Jon noticed he was wearing only his blue tank top and briefs underneath the blanket. The doctor gave him a smile. “You’re also free to go, Captain. There’s a fresh uniform for you just over there. I suggest you go to your quarters and rest for the remainder of the day. T’Pol said she would contact you if you were needed on the bridge.”

Jon wanted to refuse, but a headache was growing behind his eyes. So instead he nodded and sat up. “Thanks, Doc.”

Phlox gave him a nod in reply and walked to the opposite side of sickbay, sitting down in front of one of his microscopes, his back to Jon. Jon swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood carefully, his bare feet cold against the floor. But instead of gathering up his uniform he wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, rolled a chair over to Trip’s bedside and sat down.

He lay a hand on his friend’s arm, grateful they were both still alive. Trip’s features were relaxed, which put Jon at ease.

“Nap time’s over, Commander. Your engine needs you,” he teased gently, but Trip slept on.

Jon’s fingers itched to run themselves through the younger man’s soft, short hair and he was brought up short by the entirely inappropriate thought. _Where had that come from?_ His head throbbed and he massaged his temple. Maybe he really did need a bit more rest. But he didn’t want to move, wanting to be there when Trip woke…

~*~*~*~*~*~

_Is it really gonna end like this? Trussed up and killed by some alien creature in the cargo bay? No! There was still so much to see! So much more he wanted to experience on this mission! This wasn’t fair!_

Trip was panicking again, his mind in turmoil as his body began to shut down, his limbs heavy and cold, his heartbeat slowing. He knew Malcolm and T’Pol and Hoshi were doing their best, but this time their best wasn’t going to be good enough.

His breath hitching painfully in his chest, unable to speak, he reached out mentally in desperation to Jon, trying to establish their telepathic link again. Seeking the comfort of his best friend in his final moments. If this was the end, he wanted it to end with Jon close to him. And there! He felt Jon reaching out to him as well, touching his mind just as he slipped into unconsciousness…

…Trip opened his eyes as he emerged from under the water, the Hawaiian sun shining brightly overhead, warming his skin as he made his way across the pristine white sand to his towel.

Skin still dripping from his swim, he flopped down onto his back, spread-eagle, with a long, relaxed sigh. But at the same time Trip felt himself lying there, picking up a handful of sand and letting it sift through his fingers, he also felt himself standing off at a distance, observing. As if he were both part of the scene and watching the events unfold, simultaneously.

“Feeling better?”

He blinked at the familiar voice and the disconcerting feeling vanished as he turned his head, squinting in the sunlight.

“Oh man, Jon, this is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Jon grinned from his own towel next to Trip’s, also wearing nothing but a pair of brightly colored swim trunks. “Thought you might enjoy it.”

“A secluded cove with a private beach on Oahu. Not a soul around but the two of us. What’s not to love?”

“You deserved a break for a few days. You’ve been burning the midnight oil for months.”

A smile crossed Trip’s face. “Warp 4, Jon. We’re so damn close. Your father’s engine is gonna take us farther than any human has gone before.” Then the corners of his mouth turned down. “We’d be out there already if those pointy-eared bastards would stop holding us back with endless simulations.”

Jon raised a hand. “Don’t get me started on the Vulcans.”

Trip chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re not the only one who needs a break for a few days, havin’ just spent a month with them on the Yarahla.”

Jon blew out a breath. “I need a few days of peace and quiet after their constant condescending ‘superior attitude’ ringing in my ears.”

Trip groaned. “Oh, I hear ya. Just the other day—“ he cut himself off with a grimace as he tried to roll onto his side to face Jon.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Wrenched my back yesterday crawlin’ around under the prototype.”

Jon sat up. “Here, roll over on your stomach. Let me see what I can do.”

Trip turned himself face down on his towel, resting his head on his crossed arms. Jon straddled his thighs and a moment later he felt a thin stream of liquid drip down onto his back—suntan oil.

Jon went to work, kneading and massaging Trip’s sore back and shoulders, working out the kinks, relaxing the tense muscles.

Trip groaned in pleasure. “That feels amazin’. So like I was sayin’—“

Jon stopped his ministrations, draping his body over Trip’s. “No. No more talk about Starfleet or the Vulcans.”

“So what do you want to talk about?”

Heat flashed in Jon’s hazel eyes. “Not a damn thing,” he breathed, tipping his head down as Trip raised his.

Their mouths met for a long kiss, Trip’s body instantly responding to the arousal beginning to course through his veins.

“God, I missed you,” Jon whispered.

“Missed you, too. I was awful lonely in that big bed without you.”

“Let me make it up to you,” Jon said, his voice a low rumble that made Trip shiver.

Jon rolled his hips, pressing his cloth-covered, rapidly hardening cock against Trip’s ass again and again until Trip’s own erection pushed uncomfortably against the sand under his towel.

“More,” Trip groaned, trying to lift his hips. “Jon, please…”

Jon took pity on him and moments later both of their swim trunks were lying on the sand and warm, naked skin pressed against warm, naked skin. Jon drew them up onto their knees and Trip melted back against Jon’s muscular chest. His eyes drifted closed as Jon’s hands wandered over his body, making Trip shiver with arousal. No matter how many times Jon touched him, made love to him, it always felt like the first time—thrilling and sensual.

Trip moaned when Jon’s hand wandered down between his legs and stroked him, Jon’s own erection rubbing against his entrance.

“More…Jon, please…”

Moments later twin groans echoed in the sunlight as Jon filled Trip completely, joining them so intimately together. Trip’s breath caught in his chest as Jon held him close, moving in and out of his body, his lips trailing along Trip’s neck and shoulder. Trip gave himself over to Jon, let him create the wave building inside of him until they both began to shake.

Jon’s voice panted roughly against his ear. “Come with me…”

Jon’s release filled him with heat and Trip cried out, letting the wave crest and wash him away…

…Trip woke with a long, deep, relaxed breath, eyes fluttering open, reaching for Jon as the dream dissipated like smoke in the air. His hand was caught and he turned his head, blinking against the bright light, finding Jon sitting next to him, smiling at him.

But something was wrong. Where was the…sand? Trip’s head throbbed sharply and whatever he was trying to remember vanished. “Jon? What…?” he asked, confused.

Jon squeezed his hand and then released it. “It’s okay, Trip. You’re in sickbay.”

Trip’s brow furrowed for a moment before the events in the cargo bay came back to him. “How…?”

“According to Phlox, Hoshi came through and was finally able to communicate with the creature and she convinced it to let us go,” Jon explained.

“Remind me to buy her a drink,” Trip grinned.

Phlox walked up to the side of Trip’s bed and ran his scanner over Trip’s body from head to toe. “You’re going to be just fine, Commander. No lingering side effects from the creature.”

Trip suddenly realized that it was only he and Jon in sickbay and his stomach twisted. “Crewman Kelly and—“

“They’re all fine, too,” Jon reassured him. “Phlox already released them.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “We were just waiting for you to stop sleeping on the job.”

His words were teasing, but Trip saw the worry still lingering in Jon’s hazel eyes and a tendril of warmth curled in his chest.

“Like I told Captain Archer, you’re free to go when you feel up to it,” Phlox told him. “Though I highly recommend resting in your quarters for the remainder of the day. You’ll both be feeling like yourselves in the morning. There’s a fresh uniform for you on the counter just there.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Trip replied, just now noticing he was only wearing his blue briefs.

Jon stood, placing a hand on Trip’s shoulder. “Think you can sit up?”

Trip nodded and Jon helped him slowly rise. Trip groaned and rubbed his temple.

“Headache?” Jon asked and Trip nodded. “Yeah, me, too. That thing really did a number on us.”

“Where _is_ that thing?”

“Back on its homeworld, thankfully.”

“Yeah, well good riddance!”

Jon moved away as Trip pushed off the blanket and swung his legs over the side of the biobed.

“Here you go.”

Trip took his uniform from Jon and the two of them dressed and then headed for the door of sickbay.

“Please notify me right away if you start feeling ill in any way,” Phlox told them as the door opened.

Jon held up a hand in acknowledgement. “Will do. Thanks again, Doc.”

The door to sickbay slid closed behind them and they made their way down the corridor to the turbolift. Jon pressed the button for E deck for himself and B deck for Trip.

“Raincheck on that water polo game?” Jon grinned.

Trip huffed out a laugh. “Sure thing.”

The turbolift doors opened on E deck. Jon reached out and squeezed Trip’s shoulder. “Okay, get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jon stepped out of the lift and Trip was overcome with a sudden, overpowering urge to follow him, to climb into bed with him. He actually had to put his hand on the wall to stop himself. Where the hell had _that_ thought come from?? His head throbbed again and he closed his eyes as the lift continued on to B deck. He really did need to get some rest.

When the doors opened again on B deck, Trip made his way down the corridors to his quarters. He walked in and rested wearily against the wall, unzipping his uniform, realizing he was in need of a shower. Phlox had done a good job of getting most of the…goo from that creature wiped off of him, but he could still feel the stickiness in his hair and the dried residue on his face and hands.

The warm water and steam made him even more tired and he had just enough energy after his shower to pull on a fresh pair of briefs before crawling into bed and under the blanket. He sighed heavily as he settled against his pillow. He slipped into a deep sleep minutes after his eyes closed, to find himself back on a beach with Jon in…Hawaii?

He woke with a shuddering breath, a phantom feeling of Jon deep inside him, his own cock hard, the swollen head wet with precome. This time he remembered the entire, erotic dream. While undeniably pleasurable, it left him unsettled and confused. It was so incredibly vivid, unlike any dream he’d ever had. And he’d had more than a few about Jon, truth be told. But he’d never been to Hawaii, though he knew Jon had, and told Trip the two of them should go someday.

And why did it feel like he was both watching himself and Jon from a distance, but also experiencing everything that was happening at the same time?

Images of the dream flitted through his mind. He couldn’t get past the feeling that he’d been to that secluded cove, that it was more than a dream, but a memory, too. But that was impossible.

His temple throbbed again and he grimaced. And that’s when it hit him like an out of control torpedo—that creature and the telepathic link it created. He remembered feeling like he was dying and reaching out with his mind for the comfort of Jon’s presence. It wasn’t _his_ memory of the cove, but _Jon’s_. It was _Jon’s_ dream he’d both witnessed and taken part in.

“Son-of-a-bitch,” he muttered, his head spinning.

All these years burying his true feelings, his unrequited love for Jon, because Jon had gently told him he felt only friendship toward Trip. But apparently Jon had been lying to him for years.

Trip swept away the blanket, standing abruptly and stalking over to the window. He put a fist against the glass and bowed his head as hurt and confusion rolled through him. Why? Why would Jon do that to him?

But the silence of space was his only answer.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jon stepped out of the shower with a grateful sigh. Phlox had done a fair job of cleaning off the slimy substance he’d been coated in, but he felt much better after giving his body a good scrubbing from head to toe.

He sat down wearily on the edge of his bed, wondering why he could still be tired after having been unconscious for half the day. But apparently his body was telling him otherwise. He pulled on a fresh tank top and briefs, tossed a few cubes of cheese to Porthos and slid beneath the red sheet. He sighed again, letting his body relax now that the danger had passed and he and Trip and the three crewmen had come out of their harrowing experience surprisingly unscathed. He still needed a complete debrief from T’Pol, Hoshi and Malcolm, but that was going to have to wait as his eyes drifted closed…

…and he was back on the mesa in Nevada. The dream played itself out again behind his eyelids and he woke with a gasp, his body convinced Trip was still deep inside him. His erection strained against the front of his briefs and he palmed himself, squeezing gently, remembering every detail of the intensely vivid dream this time.

But something was wrong.

The pleasurable sensation subsided as he realized what it was—that wasn’t what happened that night. He absolutely remembered that vacation with Trip, rock climbing and white water rafting. They’d had that exact conversation in front of the fire, up until it turned sexual. That part never happened. Because he and Trip weren’t…they’d never… Even though Jon had wanted to, so many times.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was wrong. Why did he feel like he was both standing off to the side, watching himself and Trip but also experiencing everything that was happening to him at the same time?

His temple throbbed sharply and he rubbed it absently. And just like that, he connected the dots. He remembered feeling like he was dying and searching for that mental thread that led to Trip, wanting to be close to his friend at the end. That wasn’t _his_ dream. It was _Trip’s_. That’s what _Trip_ wished had happened that night.

The implication of what he’d seen hit him hard. My God…even after all these years Trip still harbored feelings for him. Despite Jon telling him he didn’t return those same feelings. And lying to him the entire time. Denying them what they both wanted. For Trip’s sake. Though he had no idea why Jon had done what he did eight years ago.

Jon’s mind reeled. Could it be that there was still a chance for them? It was almost too much to hope for. He knew Trip had been in several relationships over the years and thought he’d moved on from Jon. But if he was still dreaming about them being together as recently as weeks before Enterprise launched…

A tentative, hopeful smile crossed his face. Maybe he could finally make up for his lies and give them both what they wanted all along.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	2. Realization

Trip did his best to avoid Jon over the next several days, torn between trying to forget what he’d seen in Jon’s dream or confront him about it.

Thankfully meals at the Captain’s table weren’t mandatory, so he either ate in his quarters or in the mess hall with Malcolm, Travis or Hoshi. Except for the one dinner T’Pol requested he be at, where she proceeded to inform he and Jon that she believed the crew was suffering from a lack of sexual activity. Of all the topics! He’d nearly choked on his dinner and tried his best to avoid eye contact with Jon.

But thankfully Jon was preoccupied with their unexpected retrieval of the Vulcan ambassador V’Lar, allowing Trip to make his presence scarce around his Captain.

The only good thing to come out of the last few days was that he got Enterprise up to Warp 5 for the first time since leaving space dock. Though it was a bit of a hollow victory. He’d always imagined celebrating that milestone with Jon and a bottle of whiskey. Instead, he spent it alone in his quarters with a piece of pecan pie, staring out at the stars.

Now they were back on course for Risa and Trip was definitely looking forward to getting off the ship and blowing off some steam for two days and two nights. Away from Jon. He and Malcolm had big plans.

Speaking of the armory officer, Malcolm walked into the exercise room, pulling Trip from his thoughts. He spied Trip on the stationary bike and Trip gave him a nod. Malcolm crossed the room and climbed onto the bike beside him. They pedaled in silence for a few minutes before Malcolm looked his way.

“Are you feeling all right, Commander?” he asked in his smooth British accent.

Trip cocked his head. “Sorry?”

“You haven’t seemed like yourself these past few days. You even missed movie night.”

Trip sighed. “I’m fine. Just…got a lot on my mind.”

“Well, if you fancy a talk about what’s troubling you, I’m a good listener.”

Trip paused, looking steadily at Malcolm. They’d become much closer friends after nearly dying together in the shuttlepod. Maybe it would be good for him to talk to someone about this. He couldn’t go into specifics, obviously, but maybe Malcolm could still give him some general advice.

“I found out someone’s been keepin’ something really important from me for a long time,” he told Malcolm.

“The Captain?”

Trip shot him a surprised look.

Malcolm shrugged. “Not too hard to figure out. The two of you are the only ones with history before Enterprise.”

Trip nodded. “Yeah, it’s him. I just…I don’t understand why he kept this from me.”

“You can’t just ask him about it?”

“It’s a…sensitive matter. And then I’d have to explain how I found out about it.”

“How did you, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Remember that thing in the cargo bay?”

“I’m not bloody likely to forget!”

“It somehow joined all of us together, telepathically. We were readin’ each other’s minds.”

Malcolm’s eyes widened and Trip knew he knew where this was going.

“Yeah, I saw somethin’ in Jon’s head, about me, that I probably shouldn’t have. Not to mention it was a total violation of his privacy.”

“But you didn’t do it on purpose,” Malcolm pointed out. “You had no control over it. Surely he’d understand that. And I can’t imagine the captain thinking anything hurtful about you. You’ve been friends for what, nearly nine years?”

“Yeah. And it wasn’t anything hurtful. More like eye-opening and it’s left me…unsettled. And confused.”

Malcolm stopped pedaling. “Well, as I see it you only have two choices—try and put it out of your mind or ask the Captain about it and clear the air. And I can tell this is bothering you too much to just let it go. Before it starts negatively affecting your friendship, I’d speak to him.”

Trip nodded. “Thanks, Malcolm, I appreciate the advice.”

Malcolm dismounted from the bike and took his leave of the exercise room. Trip sighed heavily and stopped pedaling himself. Deep down he knew Malcolm was right. He was going to have to ask Jon.

The problem was, what if he didn’t like the answer?

~*~*~*~*~*~

It wasn’t hard to figure out that Trip was avoiding him. Meals at the Captain’s table weren’t mandatory. More like an open invitation. One that Trip more often than not took him up on, especially for breakfast and dinner. But the engineer had been conspicuously absent for the last several days. Except for one extremely awkward dinner where T’Pol announced she believed the crew was suffering from a lack of sexual activity. Jon had nearly fallen off his chair, covering his obvious discomfort at the subject with humor and doing his best not to look too long at Trip. It was as if T’Pol, too, had been telepathically connected to Jon as well!

He wanted nothing more than to get Trip alone so they could talk, but the universe had other ideas and instead he found himself in the midst of dealing with the situation with Ambassador V’Lar, during which Trip made himself scarce. And of course it had to happen that during all of that, Enterprise hit Warp 5 for the first time. He’d always envisioned celebrating with Trip when that happened. But instead he was dealing with the blasted Vulcans.

He then had hopes of talking with Trip on Risa, now that they were back on course for the pleasure planet.

But the universe stepped in once again and they answered a distress call from a man named Zobral…

~*~*~*~*~*~

_“I was hoping you’d enjoy spending time with your Captain.”_

Jon cursed himself for ever uttering those words. For putting his wishes and desires above the health and wellbeing of a member of his crew. And now Trip was paying the price, nearly comatose from heat exhaustion. He should have taken Trip’s hesitation seriously. He _knew_ how difficult survival training in the Australian outback had been on the young engineer. But did he heed his friend’s reluctance to accompany him to the surface of this god-forsaken desert planet? No. All because Jon wanted to finally get Trip alone to talk. And if Trip died because of his selfishness, it would utterly destroy him.

Jon kept one eye on Trip as he worked on gathering what little water there was in the bombed-out home into one container, which he planned on boiling so that Trip could drink it. The engineer was deteriorating rapidly. He had a fever, his heart was racing, his breathing labored. He was delirious, barely conscious. He needed to keep Trip talking. If he fell asleep he could slip into a coma and possibly never wake.

“Are you with me, Commander?”

Trip jerked slightly, raising his head up from where his chin had been resting on his chest. “Aye, Cap’n,” he slurred.

Jon returned with the water, which he placed over a pile of dry wood he’d collected earlier. Now he just needed to start a fire somehow.

“All this sand…”

Jon looked over at Trip, watched as the younger man picked up a handful from the ground and let it sift through his fingers.

“Reminds me…” Trip panted. “Reminds me of…when we went…to Hawaii…”

Jon’s brows furrowed in concern, taking in Trip’s glassy, unfocused eyes, caught up in delirium once again.

“We’ve never been to Hawaii, Trip,” he said gently, just to keep him talking.

“Sure…sure we have.” Trip coughed harshly. “That…private little cove…” His dry, cracked lips formed into a smile. He reached for Jon’s hand, threaded their fingers together. “Was so nice, Jon. Bein’ with you…” His head lolled to the side. “Can we…go back there?” he whispered hoarsely, his eyes sliding halfway closed.

Jon’s jaw dropped as Trip’s ramblings started to sink in. Hawaii…the cove… My God… He hadn’t even considered the possibility that if he had seen into Trip’s mind, Trip had seen into _his_. And witnessed one of Jon’s frequent dreams about the two of them.

No wonder Trip had been avoiding him. He couldn’t even imagine how confused, hurt and angry he must be—thinking all these years that Jon wasn’t interested in a relationship with him and now finding out the exact opposite.

He cupped the side of Trip’s red, feverish face. “Please, Trip. Stay with me. I have so much to make up for…”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jon couldn’t get Zobral off Enterprise fast enough. While he believed what the other man was fighting for was right and just, he was still angry that he had used deceit and pulled himself and Trip into an extremely dangerous situation. Which left his friend lying in sickbay. Where Jon wanted to be. So he ended his conversation with T’Pol in the corridor as quickly as he could and headed straight there.

He paused for a moment as the doors to sickbay slid closed behind him. Trip lay on one of the biobeds, covered by a cooling blanket, his face red, his lips dry and cracked, an IV in his arm. Jon swallowed hard and moved to his friend’s side. He cupped a hand around Trip’s bare shoulder and gently squeezed. Trip’s eyes fluttered open and Jon was glad to see they were clearer, but his voice was still weak.

“You said…I could sleep as long as I wanted…when we got back to Enterprise.”

Jon smiled, happy to see Trip was much more coherent, too. “I did. So you go right ahead, Commander.”

Trip tried to smile in return as his eyes closed once more. “Thanks, Cap’n…”

Phlox moved up on the other side of Trip and removed the cooling blanket. Jon pulled up the regular one that was bunched at Trip’s feet.

“He’s really going to be okay?” he questioned the doctor.

“Absolutely,” Phlox answered. “His temperature is back down to normal, his heart rate is stable and he’s getting plenty of fluids. He just needs rest.”

Jon nodded, feeling some of his concern ease.

Phlox withdrew a small jar out of his pocket and unscrewed the top.

“What’s that for?” Jon questioned.

“Salve for his lips. I don’t want them to bleed.”

“Here…” Jon reached out his hand. “I can do that.”

Phlox gave him a knowing look and handed over the jar. “Just a little.”

Jon nodded and Phlox walked away. He dipped one finger in and carefully applied the moisturizing salve to Trip’s mouth. He lingered slightly. It was the first time he’d ever touched the other man’s lips. Though he’d imagined doing so many times before. He remembered the feel of Trip in his arms as he pulled him into his lap, holding him close, protecting him with his own body as the barrage of enemy fire had started.

He withdrew his finger with a sigh and stood still for a moment, just watching Trip sleep. He wished he could stay, but he knew he was needed on the bridge. He rubbed his thumb on Trip’s shoulder then reluctantly went over to Phlox and handed him the jar.

“You’ll let me know when you release him?”

Phlox inclined his head, looking at him a bit too keenly. “Of course.”

With one last glance at his friend, Jon left to attend to his duties.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later Jon left the mess hall carrying a food-laden tray. He carefully made his way down the passageway, turned a corner, down another passageway, into the turbolift, out of the turbolift on B deck and down two more passageways to Trip’s door, amazingly not spilling a single drop of the ice tea on his journey. It was a precarious balancing act to touch the door chime but he managed it.

“Come in,” came Trip’s voice and Jon entered his friend’s quarters.

Trip was in bed under the blanket, wearing a gray t-shirt, sitting propped up against his pillows, a padd in his hand. His eyes widened when he saw who it was.

“Jon,” Trip smiled.

Trip only used his first name since leaving space dock when it was just the two of them. Jon missed hearing it from him regularly. He was glad to see Trip looking much better than the last time he saw him in sickbay. His face was still sunburned and his lips dry, but his blue eyes were clear and bright and his breathing was no longer labored.

“Phlox said he sprung you and I wanted to make good on that dinner.” He set the tray down on Trip’s lap and the engineer chuckled. Jon rolled over the desk chair, lowered it and sat down at his friend’s bedside.

“Prime rib, mashed potatoes, mushroom gravy, broccoli, pecan pie and ice tea.”

“Do you remember saying that’s what you wanted?”

“Vaguely,” Trip answered, picking up the fork. “Did I also say something about the warp reactor and…chicken?”

Jon laughed. “Indeed you did.”

Trip grinned but then the smile slid from his face. “Thanks for taking care of me down there, Jon. I’m sorry I fell apart—“

Jon held up a hand, cutting him off. “ _I’m_ the one that needs to apologize, not you.”

Trip shook his head. “You had no idea Zobral was lyin’ to us. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It _was_ my fault that I didn’t listen to your concerns about accompanying me. I shouldn’t have pressured you.”

Trip shook his head again but Jon kept going before he could say anything.

“Let me make it up to you. We’ve had entirely too many surprises lately. When we get to Risa I’m going down to the surface first for a day. I want to check out the city before I let half the crew down there.” He paused. “Come with me. You deserve an extra day of shore leave. No deserts, I promise,” he smiled. “Lots and lots of water. What do you say?”

Trip studied him intently for a long moment and Jon could practically see the wheels turning in his head, as if he was trying to come to an important decision, one that didn’t have anything to do with Jon’s request and Jon wondered what it was.

“Okay,” Trip finally said.

Jon released a slow, relieved breath. Come hell or high water, he was finally going to get to have that conversation with Trip.

“Great.” He stood and gave Trip’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll leave you to your dinner. We’re still another day or so from Risa, so you take it easy.”

“I’m ready to get back on duty,” Trip insisted.

“We’ll let Phlox decide that,” Jon replied. Trip made a face but didn’t argue.

Jon opened the door and went to step out into the passageway, but Trip’s quiet voice stopped him.

“Jon. Thank you. You saved my life. Again.”

Jon forced himself to speak around the sudden lump of emotion in his throat, trying for levity. “That’s two you owe me,” he winked.

He stepped out the door but poked his head back in. “And Trip? Bring the Hawaiian shirt.”

Trip’s laugh followed him down the passageway.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	3. Indecision

The next afternoon Trip filled up his tray in the mess hall and looked around, spying Malcolm sitting by himself, nearly through with his meal. He made his way over and the armory officer looked up from the padd he was reading as he ate.

“Nice to see you up and around, Commander,” he smiled. “Feeling better?”

Trip sat down across from him. “Yep. Phlox cleared me for a half day shift. Gonna eat then get down to Engineering. I hate being away from my engines this long.”

Malcolm leaned forward. “Rumor has it that you’re getting an extra day of R&R,” he teased.

Trip made a face. “Cap’n just wants someone with him while he gives Risa the once-over.” Then he shrugged. “Said he wanted to make it up to me, what happened with Zobral and all.”

Malcolm turned serious. “Speaking of the Captain, have you gotten a chance to speak to him about whatever’s been troubling you?”

Trip sighed. “No. I’d planned to while we were down with Zobral, but well, you know what happened. That’s why I agreed to go to Risa with him. I’m hopin’ to get a chance then.”

“Well I hope it turns out all right. For both of you. I’d hate for something to come between you.”

“Thanks, Malcolm, I appreciate that.”

Malcolm stood, picking up his tray. “Are we still on for checking out Risa’s nightlife?”

Trip grinned. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

As requested, Trip wore his garish Hawaiian shirt the following morning for his early trip to Risa. Jon was in a good mood, chatting the entire way down to the surface as he piloted the shuttlepod. Trip, meanwhile, was consumed with figuring out how to even start the conversation he needed to have with Jon. What was he supposed to say?

_“Why did I see you dreaming about us having sex on a beach?”_

Yeah, he’d better come up with a Plan B, in a hurry.

“I booked us a two bedroom cottage on the beach. I figured we’d go there first, drop off our things and then start exploring.”

Trip blinked. “Umm, yeah. Sounds good.”

They landed a short time later, and with directions from one of the attendants at the landing pad, they set off to find their cottage, catching a hover car at the nearest street corner. It was a pleasant ride through a tropical-like city. Sitting next to him, Jon was relaxed and taking everything in, but Trip was too on edge to appreciate the beautiful alien city.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the secluded cottage, set amidst tall palm trees at the edge of the sand. It was raised up a few feet off the ground, with stairs leading from the beach up to the spacious deck, which contained a table, chairs, a double-sized chaise lounge and a fire pit. Jon entered the door access code and they both stepped inside. The interior of the cottage was bigger than Trip was expecting, but still cozy. Two bedrooms, one on each side, with a comfortable living area in the middle, plus a bathroom and small kitchen.

He should have asked about the sleeping arrangements ahead of time and insisted on his own cottage instead of sharing with Jon. Because how awkward or uncomfortable might it be after their conversation, with both of them confined to the same space if things didn’t go well? Trip started second guessing himself. This was a bad idea. Maybe he should just let it go, forget what he’d seen…

“Ready to go have a look around?”

Jon’s question interrupted his thoughts. He forced a smile to his face as he set his duffel bag down. “Lead on.”

They started with a short walk down the beach to the waterfront, where an incredibly blue ocean lay before them. And just like that, Trip felt the tension drain from his body. The ocean, the palm trees, the sand…he felt like he was back in Florida. He smiled and took a deep breath just as a stray cloud passed overhead and rain sprinkled down, nothing more than a sunshower.

“Told you,” Jon grinned. “Lots and lots of water.”

Trip laughed, tipping his face up. “I haven’t felt rain on my face since we left space dock. This feels like home.”

“Do you miss it? Earth?”

Trip thought for a moment. “I miss my family. You know how close we all are. Especially me and Lizzie. I write her as often as I can. But all that I’ve had the chance to see and do since we’ve been out here…it outweighs the loneliness.”

Jon nodded slowly, a soft smile on his face. “So let’s go do some of that exploring.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The city center was as bustling and vibrant as T’Pol said it was. Trip was in awe of the countless number of alien species he was seeing for the first time as he and Jon walked around. There were also a variety of shopping bazaars selling absolutely everything you could possibly want, including many things Trip couldn’t even identify, clearly not meant for human use. He once again had to pinch himself that he was on an alien planet. There were also restaurants, bars and entertainment venues. This was indeed the perfect destination for shore leave. The rest of the crew were definitely going to enjoy themselves.

Trip came to a stop in front of a Nuvian massage parlor. He leaned in toward Jon. “Do ya really think they have 12 fingers on each hand?” he grinned.

“Why don’t we find out?”

Trip’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Seriously?”

Jon shrugged, returning Trip’s grin. “I think we could both do with a relaxing massage, don’t you?”

He walked inside and a stunned Trip followed along behind him. This was turning out to be one hell of an interesting day!

~*~*~*~*~*~

A short time later Trip was stretched out face down on a comfortably padded massage table outside in a gorgeous, tropical courtyard. He sighed happily as those 24 fingers worked their magic on his back and shoulders, massaging out kinks in his muscles he didn’t even realize he had.

The female Nuvians were beautiful, exotic, and that was putting it mildly. But even though Me’Lara had been gazing at Trip with blatant interest in her wide, strikingly purple eyes, Trip only had eyes for Jon, lying on the table next to him. Jon’s eyes were closed as his masseuse worked on him and Trip took the opportunity to look his fill. A small towel covered the other man’s waist but the rest of his body was laid bare, and Trip imagined it was his fingers that danced over Jon’s smooth skin. His groin tightened at the thought and he closed his eyes. His emotions were all over the map. He should be thrilled that Jon was dreaming about them but at the same time it made no sense that he would be. Not after the way they left things all those years ago.

Trip sighed again. He knew he couldn’t forget what he saw. He needed to know why. No matter what the answer turned out to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Trip was practically boneless when they left the massage parlor nearly an hour later. Jon was right, he’d needed that, and so did his Captain, by the looks of it. He nudged Jon with his elbow as they stepped out onto the sidewalk.

“Think you can convince one of ‘em to sign onto Enterprise? They’d be a big hit with the crew!”

Jon chuckled. “ _Too_ big of a hit, is what I’m afraid of.”

Trip’s stomach picked that moment to rumble loudly. Jon grinned and clapped Trip on his back. “Let’s get some lunch.”

Trip looked around dubiously. They certainly weren’t going to find any pizza or hamburgers on Risa. Maybe they should’ve brought some meal packs with them. Apparently not concerned with sampling the local cuisine, Jon led them over to a nearby food stall, took a look at the various pieces of meat on the grill and bought them both something that kind of, sort of looked like hot dogs. It was some kind of sausage-like meat anyway, on some sort of bread roll. Trip stared at it uncertainly but Jon didn’t hesitate and took a big bite. He looked thoughtful as he chewed and then nodded his head.

“I don’t know what it is, but it’s good. Try it,” he told Trip.

Trip cautiously took a small bite and his eyebrows rose in pleasant surprise. It tasted almost like spicy chorizo sausage. “Mmm, it is good,” he agreed, swallowing. “Maybe we can get the recipe for Chef,” he smiled.

They ate as they walked, continuing their exploration of the city.

“So what do you think?” Trip asked. “You good with the crew comin’ down here?”

“I am,” Jon replied. “I haven’t seen anything that concerns me. I think Risa is just what everyone needs right now.” He gave Trip a sideways look. “All that lack of sexual activity and all.”

Trip nearly choked on his sausage. Jon said it teasingly, but the glimmer of heat in his hazel eyes was no joke. Trip felt his face flush, but before he could even form a reply, Jon changed the subject.

“I was hoping we could do some scuba diving, but the afternoon’s getting away from us and I don’t think we’d have time to learn how their equipment works here. What do you say we do some snorkeling instead off the beach in front of the cottage?”

Trip swallowed hard, willing his face to cool. “Yeah. Yeah, that’d be fine.”

Jon gave him a bright smile and changed direction, heading back toward the cottage, Trip walking along beside him, feeling off-kilter once again.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a simple matter to rent snorkels, masks and fins and it wasn’t long before they were dressed in swim trunks and wading out into the ocean. Trip forgot all about his confusion surrounding Jon the minute he was immersed in the underwater beauty all around him—spectacular coral reefs and dozens of brightly colored fish the likes of which he’d never seen.

He was once again grateful to be on this mission, to be given the opportunity to experience this. And from the expression on Jon’s face, his thoughts echoed Trip’s.

He remembered seeing that look of awe from Jon before—when he taught him how to scuba dive and he experienced the underwater world for the first time. Trip’s mind took him back into memory as he swam alongside Jon—long weekends down in Key West, endless hours spent out on Trip’s boat swimming, diving, fishing and just talking. They grew closer during each of those weekends until Trip realized he was falling in love with Jon. Love that he thought was unrequited. Until now.

They emerged from the water an hour later, pleasantly tired.

“That was stunning,” Jon said as they walked up the sand.

“I wish I had an underwater camera. Those fish!”

They set their snorkeling gear next to their towels and lay down on them, Trip on his back, Jon on his side, facing Trip.

“Thanks for coming down here with me, Trip,” Jon said quietly. “I’ve missed all the time we used to spend together. Before Enterprise.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Trip answered softly, sincerely.

The genuine warmth in Jon’s smile and eyes made Trip’s stomach flutter. And once again doubt crept in. What if he opened up a can of worms by asking Jon about his dream? What if it damaged their friendship beyond repair? Would asking Jon to explain his innermost thoughts about him be worth the risk?

Trip looked away from his friend, tipping his face up, soaking in the warmth of the sun above him and the sand beneath him. He sighed, trying to quiet the turmoil in his mind, letting his eyes drift closed…

Trip made a soft noise, just on the edge of wakefulness, caught up in remembrances of he and Jon in the past—long days spent working on the warp engine, early morning runs on the beach, late night take-out dinners, drinks at the 602 Club, weekends in Florida…Trip finally confessing his feelings after being positive he saw the same interest in Jon’s eyes…but instead being let down gently in a way that still let them salvage their friendship…

His eyes finally fluttered opened, the jumbled images fading away as he woke. He blinked, momentarily disoriented until he remembered where he was. He turned his head to find Jon still lying next to him, the sun lower in the sky.

“Have a nice nap?” Jon grinned.

“Hmm….” Trip scrubbed his hands down his face. “How long was I out?”

“About an hour.”

“Oh wow, sorry ‘bout that.”

“Don’t be. R&R stands for _rest_ and relaxation.”

Trip stretched his entire body. “Yeah, well, I think you’re gonna have a hard time getting the crew back up to Enterprise after bein’ down here for two days and two nights,” he smiled, sitting up.

Jon returned the smile and sat up as well. “What are you planning on doing?”

“Malcolm wants me to hit the town with him, experience the nightlife.”

Jon gave him a look and Trip held up his hands in amusement. “Don’t worry! We won’t get into any trouble.” He gestured toward Jon. “What about you?”

“I’ve got a villa booked for me and Porthos. Thought I’d do some reading. And some diving, if you’d like to join me.”

Trip nodded slowly. “Yeah…yeah, I’d like that. I’ll definitely make the time.”

“Great,” Jon smiled. “It’s been a while since I had a tank on. Might be a bit rusty. It’ll be good to have my teacher with me.”

Trip chuckled. “You were always better’n me and you know it. Just ask Waldo.”

Jon’s voice was soft. “Better _with_ you.”

The warmth in Jon’s eyes spread to Trip’s chest and Trip cursed that creature from the cargo bay. Damn that thing for reminding him of the long history he shared with Jon, stirring up old feelings and desires that he thought he’d long since buried.

Jon reached out and clapped him lightly on his shoulder, breaking the moment.

“Speaking of plans, why don’t we get cleaned up. I’d like to order us in an early dinner. There’s something called the Festival of the Moons going on in town and I thought we might check it out.”

Trip frowned. “Promise me no blood soup and no ‘essence’ of anything?”

Jon laughed. “Promise. T’Pol recommended a seafood restaurant.”

Trip’s expression brightened as he stood. “Now you’re talkin’.”

~*~*~*~*~*~


	4. Confession

They took turns in the shower, washing off the sand and salt water, the soap a fresh, almost ocean breeze-like scent. Trip changed into nicer clothes than his Hawaiian shirt and shorts for dinner, choosing a pair of gray pants and a linen, long sleeve, light purple button down shirt. It was nice to get out of that one piece jumpsuit uniform whenever he could. Jon, too, had changed for dinner, wearing a pair of khaki pants and a lightweight, short sleeved, white button down shirt. They gave each other a nod of approval and a friendly grin as they sat down in the living area to await their dinner, which Jon said would arrive in approximately an hour.

Trip took the opportunity to pull out the padd he’d brought with to start composing a letter to Lizzie while Jon checked in with T’Pol on Enterprise and then began to read a few reports she sent to him. Trip was nearly done with his letter when the door chime sounded, signaling the arrival of their dinner.

Jon went to the door while Trip gathered up the place settings and glasses and took them out onto the deck and set everything down on the table there, then lit a fire, the ocean and setting sun the perfect backdrop for dinner. Jon joined him shortly and set out the variety of containers, removing their lids. Trip had to admit, everything smelled delicious. They each filled their plates, taking a sampling of everything.

Trip nodded as he ate, everything tasting as good as it smelled. “I have no idea what I’m eating, but this is some of the best damn fish I’ve ever had. I really think we need to send Chef down here.”

Jon chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

They chatted about their day on Risa until their plates were spotless. Trip sat back in his chair with a sigh, patting his stomach. “I may gain ten pounds in the next two days. I’m still amazed sometimes that I’m eating alien food.”

“So am I,” Jon replied as he stood, gathering up their plates and going inside.

Alone with his thoughts for a moment, Trip’s uneasiness returned. Now was the perfect time to have that conversation with Jon. There was no more putting it off and he knew it. His stomach tied itself in knots with the thought just as Jon returned, carrying a bottle of amber liquid and two glasses.

Trip’s eyebrows rose. “Is that what I think it is?”

“If you mean another bottle of Kentucky bourbon, you’d be right.” He gave Trip the side-eye. “Good thing I brought a second one. Because someone drank my first one.”

Trip stood and threw up his hands. “I thought you were dead! I thought I was dying!” He planted his hands on his hips. “I plead extenuating circumstances.”

Jon tried to hold in his grin. “I’ll let it slide. But only because I packed more than one.”

Trip shook his head in amusement. “Always the Eagle Scout.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

Jon set the glasses down on the wide, top wooden plank of the deck railing and poured them each a generous amount.

He held up his glass. “We never got a chance to properly celebrate Enterprise hitting Warp 5 for the first time.”

Trip smiled widely. “Cheers to that.”

They touched glasses and shared a drink, staring out at the ocean for a long moment. When Trip spoke next, his voice was quiet.

“Henry would be so proud of you, Jon. His son, the Captain, flying the ship with his engine. You made his dream come true.”

Jon held Trip’s gaze. “I’m proud of _you_. You never gave up proving my father’s engine was sound, no matter what roadblocks the Vulcans threw in your way for years.”

“I wish I could’ve met your father.”

Jon nodded slowly. “I wish you could have, too. He’d have seen a kindred spirit in you. You’d have been good friends. He’d have been just as in awe of your skills as I am.”

Trip felt his heart swell, touched by Jon’s words. He finished his drink and set his glass down. “Warp 5,” he exhaled. “I still can’t believe we did it. I still can’t believe we’re out here.”

Jon set his own glass down and stepped closer to Trip. In an instant Trip felt the atmosphere shift, sensing an intimacy in Jon’s eyes, his body language, and Trip’s heartbeat stuttered.

Jon reached out and lay a hand on Trip’s hip, his voice low. “There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side than you.”

He leaned in, his gaze flicking from Trip’s eyes to his mouth, tipping his head, his intentions clear. Trip felt himself sway toward Jon, but an instant before their lips could meet, the rational, hurt and confused part of his brain kicked in and he took a stutter step back, putting a hand on Jon’s chest.

“Jon, stop. What…what is going _on_ here?”

Jon’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Trip spread his arms out. “This isn’t making any sense! I saw your dream, Jon,” he confessed in a rush of words. “When that thing in the cargo bay had us connected. I saw us on the beach, in Hawaii…making love.” He swallowed hard, shaking his head. “I don’t understand. Where is this coming from?” Trip let his hurt and confusion show clearly. “You knew how I felt about you eight years ago. And I was sure you felt the same way. But you said you didn’t return those feelings. And then suddenly you only had eyes for women after that.”

Jon sighed heavily. “That was by design.”

Trip frowned. “What?”

Jon took a deep breath. “Trip, I lied to you back then and it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I wanted nothing more than to be with you. But I couldn’t. For your sake.”

Trip shook his head. “You’re not makin’ any sense.”

“I knew from the moment we met what a talented engineer you already were and what a bright future you had ahead of you,” Jon continued. “And I was afraid being in a relationship with me might sabotage your career.”

Trip let his frustration with this conversation show. “ _How?_ I don’t understand.”

“Trip, you earned all your promotions in record time on your own merit and talent, which was extremely impressive at your age. But if you’d been a relationship with me—Henry Archer’s son—I had no doubt it would affect you negatively.”

Trip still wasn’t catching on to whatever Jon was getting at. “In what way?”

“You’d have been accused of sleeping your way to the top,” Jon stated simply, and Trip’s eyes widened.

“You and I would’ve known that wasn’t true,” Jon went on, “but that rumor would’ve followed you, causing people to doubt your abilities, second guess you, whisper behind your back. You wouldn’t have had the respect you deserved, that you earned.” Jon’s voice softened. “I couldn’t let even a hint of impropriety mar your accomplishments.”

Trip was reeling from Jon’s confession. “But—“ he tried to protest.

Jon cut him off with a shake of his head. “Think about it, Trip. You know I’m right.”

It was obviously something Trip had never even considered, but Jon laying it out like that…how it might look to other people…yeah, it could’ve happened exactly as he said. And it made him angry. Yes, he’d made his dream come true—Chief Engineer on the first Warp 5 starship, but he’d unknowingly lost the man he’d loved as a trade off in the process.

“Jon, I…” he trailed off, his throat closing up.

Jon moved in close again. “It tore me up to deny what I was truly feeling for you, to keep you at arms-length. But I knew how far you could go if I just remained your friend.” His next words were soft and warm. “I truly never expected, after all these years, that you still thought of me as anything else.”

Trip cocked his head. “How did you…”

Jon gave him a small smile. “I saw your dream, too, Trip. The two of us in Nevada. Making love on the mesa.”

Trip’s jaw dropped. He’d been so wrapped up in his own hurt and confusion he hadn’t even considered the possibility that if he saw into Jon’s mind, Jon could’ve seen into his, too.

“I know you were in several relationships over the years,” Jon said, “so I figured you’d moved on from me. But that dream took place only a few weeks before Enterprise launched.” He paused, disbelief in his hazel eyes. “I thought I’d lost my chance with you long ago. I couldn’t believe you still wanted to be with me. Why? Why, after all this time?”

Trip blinked against the sudden moisture pricking at the backs of his eyes, pushed past the tightening in his chest. “Because you were the one that got away,” he said, his voice catching. “But I could still be with you, if only in here…” He touched his temple.

Jon slid his hands up Trip’s arms. “It doesn’t have to be a fantasy, or a wish, anymore. There’s no one looking over our shoulders out here. I don’t have to hide how I feel about you any longer. I want nothing more than to make up for lost time. If you’ll let me…”

A riot of emotions coursed through Trip at Jon’s words. Everything he’d ever wanted was standing right in front of him, if he wanted to take the chance.

He swallowed hard, his voice just above a whisper. “Promise me you’ll never lie to me again.”

Trip saw the hope blossom in Jon’s warm eyes. “I promise, Trip. Never again, I—“

Trip closed the small distance between them and captured the rest of Jon’s words with his kiss. That was all he’d needed to hear. He understood now that back then Jon was just trying to protect him. And that touched him deeply. It was time to let go of the past and move forward. Together.

Their first kiss was a long, gentle, chaste press of their mouths, Jon’s lips soft and warm against Trip’s own. When they parted, Jon’s expression was one of wonder and amazement, and Trip knew it echoed his own. Jon reached out, cupping the side of Trip’s face, rubbing his thumb across Trip’s cheekbone, drawing Trip back to him.

Trip’s heart pounded as their mouths met again, a spark of passion and desire in this second kiss. Jon’s tongue swept across Trip’s mouth and he parted his lips with a soft, eager sound. Twin, sharp inhales mingled in the air as they tasted one another for the first time. Trip slanted his head slightly, deepening the kiss as he wound his arms around Jon, bringing their bodies flush together.

It was as though all of Trip’s senses were heightened as the kiss went on. He felt the summer breeze on his skin, smelled the ocean air, tasted Jon on his tongue, heard the gentle waves breaking on the beach and the crackle of the fire. All these years fantasizing—and it was even more perfect than Trip could have imagined.

They embraced one another for long, long minutes, mouths parting only to come back together again and again. Trip couldn’t get enough. He never wanted to stop kissing Jon. He felt as if he were a teenager again, hormones on overdrive, surging through his veins, leaving him dizzy, wanting more. Wanting all of Jon.

But did Jon want more than this tonight? He didn’t want to assume, to take things faster than Jon was willing to. Testing the waters, Trip let one of his hands slowly drift from Jon’s back to the swell of his ass. He squeezed gently as he pressed his groin against Jon’s, letting the other man feel his arousal.

Jon broke the kiss with a stuttering breath, gazing at Trip with hazel eyes shot wide and dark. Jon swallowed, his words a rough whisper. “Make love to me, Trip.”

Trip’s entire body shuddered at the raw desire he heard in Jon’s voice. He captured Jon’s mouth again, pushing his tongue sensuously, suggestively against the other man’s and Jon groaned, the sound vibrating through Trip. He broke the kiss with a moan of his own, his erection pressing against the front of his pants. Just the thought of burying himself inside Jon… He took a long, steadying breath, willing himself to slow down, to not rush this. They had all night. They had the rest of their lives.

The thought caused Trip’s heart to skip a beat, a lump forming in his throat, and it was with a shaking hand that he reached for the first button on Jon’s shirt.

They undressed each other in the moonlight tenderly, reverently, hands smoothing over each patch of newly exposed skin until they were naked before one another for the first time. They paused then, looking their fill, hungry eyes roaming from head to toe in blatant appraisal.

Jon ran his fingers through Trip’s short hair, then down across his jaw. “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

“Jon…” Trip breathed, his entire body flushing as Jon drew him in for another kiss.

He melted into Jon’s embrace as their mouths moved slowly together, as their hands touched and caressed warm, bare skin.

Trip lost track of time, utterly content in Jon’s arms as the desire in their kiss slowly grew until they parted, breathing hard, Trip’s skin tingling in anticipation.

“Trip…please…” Jon pleaded, pressing his erection against Trip’s belly.

Trip pulled in a quick breath and walked them a few steps to the large chaise lounge, until the backs of Jon’s legs touched the side. He guided Jon down to sit and kneeled between his spread legs. Trip slid his hands up Jon’s thighs and curled his hands around his hips, leaning in close.

“Tell me what you want…tell me what you like…”

But Jon shook his head, a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “I thought you were an explorer. Find out for yourself.”

Trip smirked suggestively, his lips next to Jon’s ear. “Don’t mind if I do…”

Trip set about on his mission, exploring Jon’s upper body with his hands and mouth, soaking in the pleasurable noises he was pulling from the other man. He kissed down the long column of Jon’s neck to his shoulder, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt of the other man’s skin as his fingers glided down and over the smattering of dark hair on his chest. Jon leaned back then, bracing his hands on the chaise and Trip dipped his head. He kissed his way to the first, flat nipple as his fingers sought out the second. Jon groaned deeply as Trip sucked on one and tugged on the second, the sound going straight down to Trip’s cock, which released a burst of precome in response. Jon cupped the back of his head and he stimulated Jon’s nipples until they were stiff peaks, until Jon was shifting restlessly.

“More…Trip…touch me…” Jon ground out.

Trip lifted his head, his heart stuttering, wanting nothing more. Without breaking their gaze, Trip reached down between Jon’s legs and curled his hand around Jon’s straining erection, touching him so intimately for the first time. Jon gasped and tipped his head back, eyes sliding closed.

“Yes…”

Trip looked down then, watched in wonder as he began to stroke Jon’s long, thick length, so hot and hard against his palm. He started slowly, then a bit faster and Jon groaned again, a thick pearl of precome leaking from the slit in the swollen head. Now it was Trip’s turn to groan. The temptation was too great and he slid down, parting his lips, and took Jon deep into his mouth.

Jon gave a hoarse shout and Trip moaned in pleasure as he tasted Jon for the first time. His mouth joined his hand, his head bobbing, sucking as he stroked. He swirled his tongue around the head, drawing out more of the slightly bitter fluid, pressing against the bundle of nerves.

“Oh God…just like that…” Jon groaned, resting a hand on Trip’s head, fingers flexing, encouraging him.

Trip’s own erection throbbed between his legs, his arousal growing by leaps and bounds as he pleasured Jon, spurred on by the inarticulate noises falling from Jon’s lips.

Wanting nothing more than to bring Jon to completion, Trip took him as far down his throat as he could and hummed around his cock, sucking hard as he pulled up. The reaction was immediate.

“Trip… _Trip_ …Oh God, I—“

The rest was lost as Jon came with a long, low moan, his cock pulsing in Trip’s mouth. Trip swallowed eagerly, Jon’s most intimate taste exploding across his tongue in thick streams. Trip’s pulse spiked, his arousal now at a fever pitch, his erection so hard it was nearly painful.

He let Jon’s cock slip wetly from between his lips as Jon’s orgasm subsided and surged up his body, claiming his mouth for a hard, deep kiss, letting Jon taste himself. They were both panting when they parted. He lay a hand on the side of Jon’s face.

“Need you, Jon.”

Jon answered him without words, sliding up and back onto the chaise, spreading his legs and bending them at the knee. He held out his hand to Trip, his voice soft.

“Come here…”

Emotion welling in his chest, Trip went willingly, sinking down into Jon’s embrace. The older man held him close as their mouths met again for a long, slow, deep kiss, drawing out the foreplay just a little longer, until their building desire could no longer be denied. Trip moved back from the kiss, felt the air crackle between them with arousal and he shivered.

With effort he rose from the chaise and took a few quick steps over to the table, where he picked up the small bottle of olive oil the restaurant had sent with their food, for them to dip their bread in. It was going to be put to much better use in just a few minutes…

He paused when he turned back, the sight of Jon lying naked, his skin bathed in both moonlight and firelight stealing his breath. He swallowed hard, his heart skipping a beat. This was really happening. After all these years, it was really happening…

He saw the same realization reflected in Jon’s eyes and he once again held out his hand. Trip stepped forward and threaded their fingers together, placing their linked hands against his chest as he sank down onto the chaise.

“I’m sorry it took us so long to get here,” Jon said quietly.

Trip smiled softly. “That’s okay. I already know it’s worth the wait.” He leaned in closer. “Gonna send you to the stars, Jon,” he promised.

Jon squeezed their hands. “As long as you’re right there with me.”

Their kiss spoke of all that was to come, their mouths moving together again and again as Trip’s slick fingers prepared Jon’s body for him, until the other man was pressing down, trying to take them deeper.

“Now…now…” Jon panted. “Want you in me.”

His self-control hanging on by a thread, Trip withdrew his fingers, his entire body vibrating with arousal. He hissed as he touched himself, coating his erection with the oil, willing himself not to come the moment he entered Jon.

He paused as he leaned over Jon, settled between his spread legs, his cock rubbing against Jon’s entrance. There would only ever be one first time. Jon gazed up at him with a smile so tender Trip felt moisture prick the backs of his eyes.

“Trip…” Jon whispered, reaching up, brushing a thumb across Trip’s cheek, curling his hand around the base of his neck, drawing him down and close as Trip pressed his hips forward, pushing firmly but gently…

They swallowed down each other’s long, low groans as they were finally connected as intimately as they could possibly be. Trip paused again, nearly overwhelmed by the sensation of being inside Jon, of feeling Jon’s body stretch around him. He lifted his head, saw the same emotion shining from Jon’s wide eyes. The older man swallowed, running his fingers through Trip’s hair, cupping the side of Trip’s face.

“This right here,” Jon whispered. “This is what dreams are made of.”

Trip shook his head, his voice unsteady. “No. This is better than any dream could ever be.”

And then he set about proving it.

Their bodies moved together in an ages-old dance as Trip rolled his hips over and over, his cock sliding nearly all the way out of Jon’s body before pressing in as deep as he could. He lost himself in Jon as they made love under the stars, in the moonlight, beside the fire—just like he’d wanted all those years ago on a mesa in Nevada. But the fantasy paled in comparison to reality.

Jon kissed him with a passion that took his breath away, that set every nerve ending in his body on fire, lighting a spark at the base of his spine.

“So good, Jon…so good…” he breathed, rocking against him.

Jon arched up into him, wrapping his legs around Trip’s lower back, changing the angle of penetration. He was hard again, his cock rubbing against Trip’s stomach, seeking friction.

“Don’t stop…don’t stop…” Jon pleaded, clutching at Trip’s back, his breath hitching.

Trip snapped his hips and Jon groaned sharply. “There!” he gasped and Trip knew he’d found Jon’s secret spot, that the other man was right there at the edge.

Trip thrust long and deep, fighting against the wave rising up inside him, wanting to watch Jon shatter in his arms first, heady with the knowledge that he was the one making Jon fall apart. One, two more thrusts and Jon shook hard against him, his head pressing back against the chaise.

“Trip!” he cried out as his climax finally overtook him.

His cock throbbed between them, the heat of his release splashing wetly on their naked skin in thick streams, like a brand on Trip’s body, marking him, claiming him as Jon’s.

Helpless now to hold back the wave growing inside him, Trip let it crest and break and wash him away with a hoarse cry of Jon’s name as he came. The intensity of his release was like nothing he’d ever experienced. Like lightning surging through him. His cock pulsed again and again, filling Jon with slick, wet heat, his heart pounding, his vision graying out at the edges as he sank down onto Jon, shaking.

Jon gathered him close and Trip buried his head against his neck. “Love you…I love you…so long…” he whispered, voice catching, breaking, with overwhelming emotion.

He felt Jon take a shuddering breath, his arms tightening around Trip. “I know. God, I know….” Soothing fingers sliding through his hair. “Love you, Trip…”

Trip couldn’t stop the single, silent tear that slipped from the corner of his eye as he raised his head, his heart full to bursting with those two words from Jon he thought he would never hear. “Now that was worth waitin’ for.”

Jon swiped away the tear with his thumb, smiling gently up at Trip. “Get used to it. I’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.”

They kissed slowly, languidly until Trip slipped from Jon’s body. Jon made a soft sound of loss as they settled on their sides, facing one another, legs tangled, fingers ghosting over warm skin.

“Back then,” Trip said quietly, “why couldn’t you have just told me why we couldn’t be in a relationship? Instead of lying to me?”

Jon sighed. “Because this…” he waved his hand at their naked bodies, “would have been inevitable. The temptation would’ve been too great. Sooner or later we’d have given in to our feelings. And I couldn’t let that happen. For your sake. So I made sure to only be interested in women after you confessed to me. You needed to believe I wasn’t attracted to you.” He paused. “I was actually afraid just being my _friend_ might be detrimental to your career path. But I couldn’t cut you completely out of my life. I wasn’t that strong.”

Trip shook his head, laying a hand on Jon’s chest. “I hate that we missed out on so many years of this, but thank you for being strong enough to protect me.”

Jon held his gaze, his words low and serious. “I’ll always protect you, Trip.”

Trip thought back to all the years of friendship that they’d shared, of how often Jon had done just that. “I know,” he whispered.

Their kiss held the promise of looking toward the future, and it was a long while before they eased apart.

“I think we need to talk about how we’re going to handle this…us…” Jon said, “when we’re on Enterprise.”

Trip shrugged. “You saw my dream. We already had this conversation. Nothing’s changed on my end. I don’t think we need to be announcin’ it to the world. But not hidin’, either. Just let folks find out on their own. You okay with that?”

Jon nodded. “I am.” Then a smirk stole across his face. “And I’ll even let you sleep over in the Captain’s quarters sometimes.”

Trip threw back his head with a laugh as Jon quoted his dream to him. “ _Sometimes?_ ” he quoted right back then rolled Jon underneath him for a playful kiss.

When they parted, smiling, Jon glanced down at their sex-disheveled bodies. “I think we’d better get cleaned up or we’re going to be stuck together like this.”

“I could think of worse things,” Trip replied with a wink, but swung his legs over the side of the chaise anyway and stood, gathering up his discarded clothes.

There was no question they would be sharing a shower, and in just a few minutes they were standing together under the spray of warm water. Hands were lathered and soap smoothed over naked bodies as they washed one another from head to toe. Trip couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he ran his hands over Jon’s body, as he traded short, sweet kisses with him. Trip had been in relationships before, but none of them had felt right. Not until now, with Jon. He felt like he was finally…home. And remembering how he got here made him chuckle.

Jon stepped in close and wrapped his arms around Trip, a grin on his face. “What’s so funny?”

Trip shrugged. “Just thinkin’ that I’ve never been happier in my life, and it’s all because some alien creature tried to kill me.”

Jon arched a brow, his eyes growing dark as he slid a hand slowly down Trip’s back and over the swell of his ass, his finger just dipping into the crease. He leaned in, his voice a low rumble. “It definitely gave us a whole new meaning of ‘first contact’, hmm?”

Trip shivered as Jon captured his mouth, this kiss quickly turning from short and sweet to long and arousing. The warm water flowed over them as their mouths slanted across one another’s, their tongues doing sensuous battle. It wasn’t long before they were both hard again, their erections rubbing together.

Jon suddenly pulled back from the kiss, breathing hard, and spun Trip around. Trip’s hands slapped against the cool tile wall of the shower and he sucked in a sharp breath. He looked over his shoulder as Jon moved in, his pulse jumping at the desire shining from Jon’s eyes.

Jon molded his body around Trip’s and Trip soaked in his heat, his strength, his cock throbbing as Jon kissed his way down from behind his ear to his neck to the top of his shoulder, raising goosebumps. Trip groaned as Jon took his mouth again for a hard kiss, his hands skimming over Trip’s chest, his stomach, thumbs rubbing in circles over his nipples. Trip shivered as Jon’s cock pressed against his ass and he remembered and he wanted…

Trip broke the kiss with a sharp intake of breath, his voice low and deep. “Take me to bed, Jon. Make love to me. Like on the beach…in Hawaii…”

Jon’s eyes widened at the mention of his dream, that Trip wanted the fantasy to become reality and from the way those eyes darkened with heat, Trip knew it was about to happen.

Sure enough, Jon led Trip from the shower, slapping at the controls to shut off the water. They swiped towels over their wet bodies hurriedly, exchanging short, sharp kisses, not caring they were still somewhat damp when they left the bathroom. Trip was glad Jon was thinking when he saw the other man snag the small, complimentary bottle of aloe vera gel from the counter, supposed to be used in case of sunburns. But once again a slippery substance was about to be put to far better use.

Jon’s bedroom was closer, so they headed there, Trip’s heart beating faster with each step. When they reached the side of the bed, guided by the moonlight streaming in through the window, Jon took Trip in his arms and once again kissed him with such passion it left Trip lightheaded when they parted.

“On the bed,” Jon breathed.

Trip swallowed against a suddenly dry throat as he crawled up onto the mattress and lay face down, his head cradled on his folded arms, just as he was in the dream. Jon joined him just a moment later, straddling his upper thighs, and Trip breathed in deep. He heard the _snick_ of a cap being opened and then Jon’s hands were spreading slick gel across his shoulders.

Trip closed his eyes, groaning as Jon’s fingers massaged his shoulders and all the way down his back, melting into the mattress at his sensuous ministrations.

“Feels so good,” he murmured, then pulled in a quick breath as Jon rolled his hips, sliding his erection along the crease of Trip’s ass.

“I love touching you,” Jon whispered, then leaned over Trip’s body, shifting his hips again, rubbing his hard cock against Trip’s ass.

Trip groaned again, his own erection pressing into the mattress, his body aching to be filled. “More…Jon, please…”

Jon’s mouth claimed his for a hard, fast kiss, then he moved back, drawing them both up onto their knees. Trip curled his hands around the headboard as he spread his legs wide, looking over his shoulder, shivering as Jon smoothed his hands up the backs of Trip’s thighs to his ass. His thumb brushed over the small, puckered muscle and Trip shuddered.

“God, yes…”

Heat flashed in Jon’s hazel eyes and a moment later his slick fingers were opening Trip, stretching him, until Trip pushed restlessly back onto them, needing more. Needing Jon.

“Now, Jon…” he panted and the fingers withdrew.

They locked gazes as Jon’s cock pressed against Trip’s entrance, the hand on Trip’s hip shaking slightly. The tenderness in Jon’s eyes made Trip’s breath catch in his chest.

“I love you,” Jon whispered as he joined them, as he filled Trip so intimately.

Trip couldn’t help the soft cry that escaped him as Jon slid deep inside him for the first time. He thought being inside Jon was incredible. But this…this was beyond words.

Trip’s entire body vibrated with arousal as Jon began to move, withdrawing until the swollen head of his cock caught on the edge of Trip’s entrance, then pushing back in, in one smooth motion. Sounds of pleasure fell from Trip’s mouth as Jon took him, made love to him, reveling in the sensation of his body stretching around Jon, drawing him in over and over, as close as they could possibly be.

And he wasn’t the only one affected by this first time. Jon’s rambling words washed over Trip as they moved together.

“So good, Trip…so good…never want to stop…love you…”

Trip wanted to return the last two words but found he couldn’t speak, lost in the overwhelming emotions Jon was creating inside him, as he pushed back onto Jon’s cock, trying to get him deeper, his entire body on fire, his own cock aching for release, leaking precome.

“ _More_ …” Trip ground out.

Jon’s hands tightened on his waist as he snapped his hips, driving himself deeper into Trip with each thrust. Trip cried out, his head spinning, blood rushing through his veins, feeling the first stirrings of his orgasm building low in his belly.

Jon draped his body over Trip’s and Trip sucked in a breath at the heat, pressing up into him.

“Come here,” Jon breathed, drawing Trip to him, on their knees.

Just like in the dream, Trip sank back against Jon’s chest, resting his head against Jon’s. His eyes slid closed as Jon kissed the side of his neck, his hands roaming over Trip’s body, as he continued to thrust up into Trip as Trip pushed down in counterpoint. Jon’s cock slid deeper into Trip in this position and in moments Trip was shaking with the need for release.

“Touch me, Jon…” he moaned. “ _Please_ …”

One of Jon’s hands slid down between Trip’s legs, his lips against Trip’s ear as he curled his warm fingers and palm around Trip’s straining length and stroked.

“Come with me…”

The echo of the dream reverberating through Trip, he cried out sharply at Jon’s roughly whispered plea, flew apart at Jon’s touch. He shook in Jon’s arms as he came, his cock pulsing as Jon’s filled him with the thick streams of his own release, Trip groaning long and low at the intensely intimate sensation that seemed to go on and on.

They collapsed down onto the bed together in a tangle of limbs, lying pressed together until the shaking stopped, their ragged breathing slowed and Jon slipped gently from Trip’s body. Trip turned in Jon’s arms, utterly content, feeling warm and heavy and sated…and loved. And his long, slow kiss made sure Jon knew it, too.

When they eased apart, there was amusement in Jon’s eyes. “Do you know what this means?”

Trip’s forehead furrowed in confusion. “No, what?”

“That T’Pol was right. We _were_ suffering from a lack of sexual activity.”

Trip arched an eyebrow, smirking. “ _Were?_ ” He rolled Jon under him, voice dropping to a low growl. “Oh, I’m _still_ sufferin’…”

**THE END**


End file.
